Wizard's Longing
by SaPHirE307
Summary: After Arthur becomes King he has certain responsibilities that leave his and Merlin's relationship at a unsatisfactory end. Merthur! Vulnerable!Merlin/Responsible!Arthur


**Reupdated. Fixed grammar and more details. I reread it once and almost cried at all the errors**

 **Yey. I'm not dead. Sorry about the, ya know, year... or two long break. A lot happened.**

 **My mom got a new job in a different state but I stayed to finish up the school year. My guardians at the time ended up the not so best of people.**

 **Enough about sad stuff. If you are interested a friend and I have done a couple of cosplay videos of Fem!Destiel. Here's the link to some of those.**

 **watch?v=1RMtKYK-hDg**

 **watch?v=fFVuGGTso7U**

 **watch?v=jUZo-iInXV0**

 **watch?v=T0M0O3jeniU**

 **Also watch some of their other stuff. It's kind of awesome.**

 **And the hard part. The lack of Stay Away With Me update .One is coming soon. I promise.**

 **There is also a LxLight story coming. I'm not sure which will come first but it will probably be Death Note because it is pretty much done and Stay Away With Me I want to be perfect.**

 **So anyways, here's the story.**

 **Rated T**

 **I hope no one gets scared by the first scene. That's as bad as it gets.**

* * *

Merlin tossed and turned in his sleep. Honestly he was used to not being able to get to sleep. Between the dragon's constant nagging, Arthur and Gaius' insane demands, and the uncomfortable bed, sleep was a rare luxury. So losing the precious sleep he could get was dangerous. However he couldn't help it. His dreams kept getting the better of him.

* * *

Merlin felt the warm soft bed beneath him. Though he doubted the warmth was actually bed himself but rather the person above him. He could feel Arthur's hands trying to be on every part of Merlin's body and burn it into his brain have it in his memories forever. Merlin himself made no objections to this. Not that he really could due to the fact that his mouth was a bit preoccupied with Arthur's to voice and objection. Arthur pulled away causing Merlin to whimper at the loss. Arthur ignored in favor of taking a minute to take in all of Merlin. Merlin opened his eyes to see why Arthur stopped. He looked up to see Arthur just staring at him.

"I love you"

Merlin was taken back by Arthur's abruptness. Tears started to prick in the back of his eyes. Arthur started to look with concern.

"What's wrong?"

Merlin trying to wipe his tears away said "It's nothing really. I just feel like it's been a long time since I heard you say that."

Arthur turned to both of them on their sides facing each other, and put his chin on top of Merlin's head. He wrapped his arms around Merlin and just held him to his chest. "You know I'll always be here and love you."

Merlin looks up at him. "Always?"

Arthur smiled at him. "Always."

* * *

Merlin was woken by Gaius knocking on his door. "Merlin. It's time to wake up now. You don't want to leave the King waiting too long." Merlin groaned and rolled out of bed.

"Oh great. Another day serving our Once and Future Pratt."

* * *

Merlin walked into the king's chambers without knocking. Upon entering he sees Arthur already with Gwen eating breakfast. Merlin already halfway through the door realized the situation that was happening. "Oh sorry sire." He quickly turned to leave. Arthur worried for the upset look on Merlin's face.

"Merlin" Before he could continue Merlin turned his back to his other half. Not looking him in the eye Arthur said "Merlin, come back here after breakfast." Merlin nodded still avoiding his gaze and then left without a word.

* * *

Merlin returned to Arthur's door and stood in front of it hesitating for what felt like hours but was actually only a few minutes. Finally gaining enough courage he entered the room, also he knew that he wasn't fooling Arthur because of course he knew he was right outside. Entering Merlin looks and finds him sitting on a chair near the fireplace. Arthur without looking up said with all the command his royal blood had given him. "Come over here Merlin." Merlin jumped at his voice and moved to be beside the King of Camelot. Arthur's eyes never left the crackling fire. "You know why I'm doing this, right?"

Merlin with a straight face said "I can think of a number of reasons for you to call me here sire. Like giving me more chores, or drawing a bath, or fluffing your pil-..."

"Merlin!" Merlin shut his mouth with an auditory click. Arthur was still unable to even look at his manservant. "As the King of Camelot it is expected of me to take a wife as Queen and produce and heir. Guinevere is the best choice."

"I couldn't agree more sire."

She's smart, courageous, and she cares for the people. She will be a great queen."

Trying to force a fake smile Merlin responds. "Yes she will."

"However a wife isn't something I, Arthur, desire, but I must as the King of Camelot."

Merlin now holding back tears chocked out "Yes I understand."

Arthur then gave in. "Come here Merlin." Merlin walked closer to Arthur who pulled him onto his lap so Merlin was straddling him. "Your magic has saved me more times than anyone could and I try to repay you for that by bringing the people too once again except magic. However your companionship means more to me then I should ever be able to ask you for and I cannot you for repay that." Merlin by then was then crying into Arthur's shoulder. "I know it isn't fair to ask you to stop, but I am a king now. As a prince we could get away with these things, but now responsibility is hanging over us constantly. So now our relationship must cease."

Arthur held Merlin and let him cry himself to sleep in his arms. Arthur just sat with Merlin holding him petting his hair and rubbing his back. Although he would never say it out loud, especially to Merlin himself, but he really did regret having to end what they had because to his duty to his kingdom. In the end it didn't really matter whether he told Merlin or not, because he knew. He always knew. When he was sure Merlin was deeply asleep Arthur carried him over to his bed and laid down beside him. He watched Merlin's chest rise and fall as his face slowly changed from red from tears back to his usual pale complexion. Knowing Merlin was starting to dream Arthur whispered to Merlin. "Please know, despite all my words and actions it will forever stay the same. I love you, always.

* * *

 **There it is. To be fair I wrote this a couple years ago but it got lost in all my half written stories. It's short but sweet. But hey who doesn't love some good fluff.**


End file.
